Live The Life YOU Want To Live: Part 2

So in what ways do people or society give us those ideas of happiness?

One example of when people and society can directly give us those ideas of happiness for us is the decision of continuing your education towards college.  We graduate from high school and then think to ourselves, “Okay, now what?”  Our decisions on whether or not we should continue our education can be affected by our parents and friends.  For example, we may have heard that our friends are going to a certain college after they graduate and so we sometimes base our decision off of that factor alone.  Or our parents may have encouraged us to go to college because it could be the “best years of our lives” and your parents have a legacy at the school.  Maybe our parents may have never gone to college and now they’re encouraging us to go because they don’t want us to struggle like they did.  What I’m trying to get at is that these ideas are given with good intentions, but is that what we ourselves truly want for our lives?  Of course, going to college and getting a degree may not guarantee that we will land the job we thought we always wanted or getting a job that may secure us financially.  So why do they want us to go?  In my opinion, it’s because that is all they know or believe.  They may know that going to college was the best years of their lives, and so they believe that it will be the same for us.  Our parents may know that not going to college will result in struggling financially, so they believe that going to college and getting a degree is the solution.  Our friends may believe that going to college is the best thing for them and so you may follow them because you believe that is what is best for you too because you believe in your friends and you may not want to leave them even though your relationship with them during college may never be the same.  I dare say that society and the media also give us these ideas of happiness.  For example, take a look at the commercials that you sometimes see on television about people who have gone to a certain college and now they are a success story for the college.  If you’ve ever seen these types of commercials, you know what I’m talking about.  When you see these success stories, it may seem like that is the best thing for you because you see how happy those people are when they took that path.  It may even encourage you to take this path because you may believe that you will also be a success story too and live a life happily ever after.  But it’s not guaranteed. 

Another example may be the career path you choose for your life.  Think about what you want to do with your life and consider whether or not that is something that YOU chose to do with your life.  Was it your decision or somebody else’s decision?  Are you totally satisfied with the career you have?  Are you totally satisfied toward what you’re working for?  You may have been influenced by your parents to go with a certain career path because it makes a lot of money.  You may have been encouraged to continue things that you are good at such as math, even though you love to make art.  And hey, maybe you are good at something and you want to do it because it does make you happy.  And if it does, then go for it.  What I’m saying is, if it doesn’t satisfy you to go to work every day and know that you’re doing something that you love, you need to think about some alternate career paths because eventually, you will most likely quit the job anyways.

There are also some sneaky, indirect ways in which other people’s idea of happiness may creep into your mind.  For example, have you ever compared your life to another person and think that their life seems so great but your life isn’t?  Have you ever wallowed in the sad, sulking mass, which is your life, and thought that if you could be in their shoes for one day that you will be totally satisfied with your life?  In my opinion, I’m not convinced that if you could switch places with them for one day that you will be satisfied with your life.  I believe that what you truly want is happiness with your life.  It’s really not about what other people are actually doing in order to be happy.  It’s about the happiness itself.  Because you see, there are many ways and paths to be happy.  It’s all about how YOU want to be happy and NOT what somebody else is doing which makes them happy.  And happiness comes and begins from within.

So how do we know that we are following somebody else’s believed path to happiness?  

Answers to that question in Part 3...

Live The Life YOU Want To Live: Part 1

Every day, most of us are bombarded by the expectations, fantasies, dreams, and hopes of the people around us and society.  We strive for these beliefs as if they are the things that will make us happy.  We follow these beliefs in hopes that it is for the best in the end.  We hope that they know what they are talking about when they say to follow a certain path to happiness.  But it isn’t.  In a way, those dreams, fantasies, hopes, and expectations are only just that.  Even the people who tell us the things they want for us may have never had those things.  So, in a way, it is a paradox.  People have dreams, fantasies, hopes, and expectations for us because that is what THEIR dreams, fantasies, hopes, and expectations are.  It doesn’t matter if it would truly make us happy or not because that is what they BELIEVE will make us happy.  And that’s where the confliction lays.  We BELIEVE that the hopes, dreams, fantasies, and expectations, of other people will make us happy as well.  But it isn’t always so.  We are so reliant on other people to tell us what they want in order to make them happy.  In a way, we are so hung up on trying to make THEM happy, that we forget to take care of our own happiness.  Sometimes, we forget to ask ourselves if this is truly what WE want, and not something that somebody else wants.  Sometimes we are so caught up in those ideas that we actually start to believe that those things are what we truly want.  Sometimes, we don’t even know what we want because we have been trying to live up to the ideas that other people have given us for so long. That is not to say that those people have bad intentions when they give us those ideas.  It is the opposite because they BELIEVE that what they want for us will be good for us.  So they do have good intentions but they have also been led to believe that what they are doing is good for us as well.  The only solution to all of this is to follow our own path to happiness.  Like opinions, each of us have our own idea of the life we want to live but there obstacles which impede us from living that life.  We are unique beings that have our own unique ideas of the life we want to live.  There is no one way for the path to happiness.  

So in what ways do people or society give us those ideas of happiness?  That's a question for another day...